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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Nov 12 2025 09:07pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

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Comments
Oct 25 2003 06:09pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

/me's laughing very loudly

_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Oct 25 2003 05:46pm

D@RtHM@UL
 - Student
 D@RtHM@UL

ROFL !!!

Oct 25 2003 05:46pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

/me falls off chair laughing :D

keep 'em comin guys... one of these days i'll think about posting some too :P
_______________
make install -not war

Oct 25 2003 03:57pm

Dicemaster
 - Student
 Dicemaster

ok, so theres these to scientests in on an african safarie. They get seperated by there group and are captured by a native tribe. The chiefsman says "you have two choice, death or ruru!"
so the first scients says "well i don't want to die, so i think i'll take ruru"
So the chief says"ruru it is"
and they take the scientist into the middle of the river and all the men in the tribe have there way with him.
The chief comes back and says to the second man "you have two choic, death or ruru"
well the second guys thinks to himself, man i can't take what that guy went to i'd rather die so he says "i'll take death"
and the chief says "fine, death...by ruru!"
_______________
Dicemaster

Oct 25 2003 02:00pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Or like this:
How do you explain to your mother-in-law that she is not wanted at your house when she rings the bell?

These are the ways:
"We don't buy at the door! Oh sorry!!! I didn't recognize you without the mustach"

"Come in. Want someting to drink? A Molotov cocktail perhaps?"

"You're just going to teach me how to shave!!"
:D
And I know more of those, but I can't remember them at this moment:)
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Oct 25 2003 01:58pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Allright
my joke:

A guys ship sinks in to the ocean and his body is found near an island.
The cannibals on this island say to him:
"You shall have to pass 3 tests, and if you pass, we won't eat you"
The man has no other choise, so he says: "What are the three tests"

The cannibal says: "See those three tents over there? In one tent, there are 500 gallons of wine, drink all of them.
In the second tent, there is a gorilla, break his arm...
And in the third tent is a grandmother
Please her in every way you can!

So the man walks into the first tent, drinks everything in there
and then he walks inside the second tent
and you hear the gorilla going "oeh oeh oeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh"
Then the man walks out and says:
"Excellent. Now all I need to do is break the old ladies arm..."
:D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Oct 24 2003 04:53pm

Drathir
 - Student
 Drathir

lol hahahha
_______________
Where we ask the question, "Is real life really stranger than fiction, or is fiction about real life being stranger than fiction stranger than real life being stranger than fiction?" Ow.
-Paradox Lost
Want to read my slowly in progress webcomic?
-TCTI


Oct 24 2003 10:55am

VirusD
 - Student
 VirusD

bwhhahaah there are really some good jokes :P.

TEacher( angry) : who thinks his dumb stand up
*a student stands up*
Teacher ( still angry) : so u think ur dumb
the Student: No but i felt pitty seeing u stand all alone.
_______________
'** I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.**'
'**On going to war over religion: "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.**"
'**I Dont Lie! I Just Bend And Illustrate The Truth A Little**' - By me when talking to a friend.


Oct 24 2003 10:16am

Garos
 - Student
 Garos

This is long, so bare with me. :)

There is a man in a bar and he sees 100 dollars in a basket on the bench. The sign says; WIN THIS MONEY:D. So he goes and asks the bartender how to win the money (LISTEN TO THIS PART CAREFULLY).
The bartender reaplies with; "There are 3 things you must do. First, you see that bouncer out the front there?"
He looks out the door.
"Yes"
"you have to go and punch him out cold"
"What's the second one?"
"My rottweiler is through that door over there"
He points to a door banging and being smashed into on the other side.
"He has a bad tooth, so I want you to go and pull it out."
"Okay, what's the third thing?"
"Well, my old lady is upstares, and she hasn't had a root for about 40 years. You gotta go up there and do her."
The man shudders, and then accepts the challenge.
He walks strait up to the bouncer and punches him in the face.
BOOM! He hits the ground with a loud thud.
He then walks over to the door which the rottwieler is behind. He jumps through the door and slams it shut hard.
There is alot of scratching on the door, and the dog can be heard whining loundly, but after ten minutes, the man jumps out again, clothes ripped and torn apart just hanging off him, heaving against the door.
and says; "Wheres the old lady with the bad tooth?!?!"


And there you have it.
me takes a large bow.

Oct 24 2003 04:18am

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

LMFAO :D
_______________
make install -not war

Oct 24 2003 01:19am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Lol

Things to do in an elavator

1 you put a box in the cornor of the elavator and when someone walks in you ask "Do you hear Ticking?"



2.You get a desk and you put it in the the elavator and when he someone walks in you say"Do you have an apointment?"


3.When someone walks in you drop a pen and when someone picks it up you say"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

4.When a person walks in you stare at them and then say"YOU'RE.....YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!"


4.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
5. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"
6.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
7.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
8.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
9. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".
10. Making out
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


This comment was edited by Apologetic on Oct 24 2003 03:09am.

Oct 23 2003 08:15pm

Drathir
 - Student
 Drathir

LOL NICE JOKE hhahahahahhaa:D:D:D
_______________
Where we ask the question, "Is real life really stranger than fiction, or is fiction about real life being stranger than fiction stranger than real life being stranger than fiction?" Ow.
-Paradox Lost
Want to read my slowly in progress webcomic?
-TCTI


Oct 22 2003 08:41pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Oct 20 2003 07:56pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Aunt Matilda was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the Spring and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a cut glass bowl setting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.

Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity; surely Aunt Matilda had flipped! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor.

When she returned with tea and cookies they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl and its strange floater, but soon it got the best of him, and he could resist no longer.

"Aunt Matilda," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this," pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful! I was walking down town last fall and I found this little package. It said to put it on your organ and keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I think it's
working, I haven't had a cold all winter!"

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Oct 20 2003 05:10pm

D@RtHM@UL
 - Student
 D@RtHM@UL

Jacen being smart and lag free :P

Oct 19 2003 07:12am

Lackeh- Retired
 - Student
 Lackeh- Retired

Two Irishmen walk out of a pub.

Hey! It could happen.
_______________
A champion is someone who keeps getting up; even when they can't.
Founder Of the Jedi Academy Adlut Support Group.
PIE!!!!!
Padawan of Katan. Brother to MOTREC, DarkDragon, (SKX)DarkBlade, Jacen Aratan, Achilles, Kool_Aide, EvilSquirrel, and Katan's Padawans.


Oct 18 2003 09:35pm

Jaina D'Kana
 - Jedi Instructor
 Jaina D'Kana

hehe i like that last one :)
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INTP

Oct 17 2003 11:03pm

Trad Redav
 - Student
 Trad Redav

don't know if these have been said before...


1. A panda walks into a bar. first, he orders a sandwich. then, he shoots the bartender and walks out. The manager manages to catch up the the panda. "hey, what did you do that? first You order a sandwich, eat it but don't pay, shoot my bartender, and just walk out?" to which the panda replies "I'm a panda! look it up in the dictionary." "uh... ok" the manager replies.

He looks in the dictionary and finds:

Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.



2. How do you get out of getting consequences for speeding?

when the officer pulls you over and asks why you were speeding...

officer (o) : show me your liscence

you (y): Sorry, i can't, it's a forgery, you'd figure it out.

o: a forgery?? well... let me see the car's registration papers.

y: I can't, sorry, the car's stolen, they didn't have the papers in the car when i took it.

o:you stole the car??

y: Yeah. i know they're not in the glove compartment, because that's where i put the gun i used to kill the previous owner when i stole the car.

o: gun...kill...

y: It's not in the trunk, because that's where i put my illegal drugs and my grenades.

o: grenades??

officer calls the cheif police person.

cheif (c) : Let me see your liscense.

y: okay. (you hand it over)

c: Car registration papers?

y: okay. (you them over)

c: let me see the glove compartment.

y: okay (you open in, it's empty)

c: pop the trunk

y: sure (you do so, it's empty.)

you hear the cheif and the officer convsersing. when the cheif returns to you...

y: I bet he told you i was speeding, too!
_______________
Well then. Just so you know, just because I don't post often doesn't mean I don't lurk this place multiple times every day...

This comment was edited by Trad Redav on Oct 17 2003 11:04pm.

Oct 17 2003 03:59pm

Jaina D'Kana
 - Jedi Instructor
 Jaina D'Kana

:)
_______________
INTP

Oct 17 2003 02:12pm

Roan Belouve
 - Retired
 Roan Belouve

LoL


_______________
*Bro to Vaxxla,Padawan of FiZZandOdan-Wei Part of the mighty Belouve Dynasty-Knight of Nippledom.Twin of Selphestal!**Proud Master to Kaelis and Acura Friend to anyone who would call me the same :). Pic by the amazing Majno (merry)

Oct 16 2003 07:52pm

Darkwood
 - Student
 Darkwood

hehehe, nice :P
_______________
-Darkwood-

Oct 16 2003 07:34pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

LOL @ Ulic! I love those "bad" jokes!

K, here's 2day's joke:

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an obese older woman in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Oct 15 2003 06:13am

Ulic Belouve
 - Student
 Ulic Belouve

What dos a goldfish say when it slams into a brick wall?

Damn.

I needed somethin to bump this back up.
_______________
Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace.

Oct 13 2003 10:01am

Lackeh- Retired
 - Student
 Lackeh- Retired

ROTFLMAO

_______________
A champion is someone who keeps getting up; even when they can't.
Founder Of the Jedi Academy Adlut Support Group.
PIE!!!!!
Padawan of Katan. Brother to MOTREC, DarkDragon, (SKX)DarkBlade, Jacen Aratan, Achilles, Kool_Aide, EvilSquirrel, and Katan's Padawans.


Oct 12 2003 11:46pm

Flash
 - Student
 Flash

LOL!

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