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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Nov 12 2025 04:59pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

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Comments
Nov 16 2003 11:28pm

Ulic Belouve
 - Student
 Ulic Belouve

An ion walks into a bar and says "I think I left an electron here last night"...
...and the bartender says "are you positive?"
_______________
Jedi do not fight for peace. That's only a slogan, and is as misleading as slogans always are. Jedi fight for civilization, because only civilization creates peace.

Nov 16 2003 11:33am

Ulic |retired|
 - Student
 Ulic |retired|

A 100 year old man has signed up for a course to learn Latin. The teacher asks him: Why do you want to learn Latin at your age?
The old man: I will die soon, and I'd really like to be able to chat with God and the angels at the heaven's gate.
Teacher: But, what if you wouldn't go to heaven, but to hell?
Old man: Well, I suppose anyone could speak a bit German.

No offense, this is not a joke i came up with :)
_______________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

Nov 16 2003 01:13am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Want to know how to entertain an Idiot for hours?
Answer below






























want to kno how to enter tain an idiot for hours?
answer above
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 15 2003 11:27pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Hey, that happened to me once...
yeah
I was locked outside the house...
Turns out our window (that's as large as a door) was open..
I sat out there for about half an hour :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 15 2003 09:47pm

CuZzA
 - Student
 CuZzA

There were 2 blondes who parked their convertable car in the car park. They both opened their door and got out. One of the blondes (the 1 with the keys) tried to be a little quick so before she closed the door she locked the door by pressing the button on the key. She was about to close the door until she felt a bit of a wind and she saw a trolley rollin' straight at her. She dropped the keys on the drivers chair in shock and moved out the way. The trolly hit the door and closed it. After the two blondes argued and argued about who's fault it was, they tried to open the door, each having ten minutes. After 19 minutes when the driver was still trying to open the door, one of the blondes said "Quick, get the keys out! There's a storm coming and the roof is open!"

HAHAHAHAHA!
_______________
- Even if Carlsberg made "w*nkers", Christiano Ronaldo would still be the biggest "w*nker" in the world

Nov 14 2003 03:21am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Or maby the badger the monkey threw the moose and the the cat and dog and bird were in the closet and then the next year there was a new chimp a mutated cat and a 4 legged bird
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 14 2003 02:18am

Axion
 - Student
 Axion

LOL!? *scratches head* maybe the dogs ate the cat and the badger stole the cheese or maybe the gorrila picked them all up and threw them at a wall :D
_______________
Axion - Yeah.

Nov 14 2003 02:13am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

A badger a monkey a cow a moose a dog a cat a peice of cheese 4 peices of wood another dog 6 birds a lion a chicken a gorilla a cup of snot and a horse go into a room.....Where was this going?

Badger badger badger
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 13 2003 10:20pm

Axion
 - Student
 Axion

LOL yea..
_______________
Axion - Yeah.

Nov 13 2003 09:37pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

That can't be fun :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 13 2003 08:42pm

Stimpski
 - Student
 Stimpski

lol good one billy




Hotel Fun

Bill and Joe go into a hotel. The hotel has 100 floors. The hotel manager tells them that there is only one room left and it's on the 100th floor. The guys take the room. The elevators are busted. So they take the stairs. At the 10th floor, Bill tells Joe he has something to tell him .

''Tell me upstairs,'' says Joe.

When they reach the 100th floor, Joe finally asks what Bill wanted.

''We forgot the keys downstairs.''
_______________
Stimpski (formerly known as DeathScythe many, many moons ago.)
JA Forum ID - 3988
<insert generic &/OR witty tagline here>


Nov 13 2003 06:36pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

LOL@ Buzz! Good one!
-----

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 12 2003 05:16pm

Buzz
 - Student
 Buzz

Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years!", he said, cheerfully.
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work! Before you know it, they'll give you a speaking part!"

_______________
When you are going through Hell, keep going.
-Sir Winston Churchill.

Those who seek power and control of others, no matter the level, no matter the intentions, should never be given it.


Nov 12 2003 05:09pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women, I want to know how they
feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy."

After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

j/k ladies

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 11 2003 09:20pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

A girl walks into a psychiatricts waiting room
Another man is sitting there, and as soon as he sees her, he says:
"You are the most beautifull woman I have ever seen!"
Girl: "Thanks, you seem normal. What are you doing in a psychiatrics waiting room?"
Man: "I'm a compulsive liar"
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 10 2003 05:57pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Already knew that one :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 10 2003 05:09pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God became angry and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 10 2003 04:58pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

This is a joke you should do on friends

Hold out your finger, (preferably your index finger)
hold it in front of your face and ask:
"What do you see?"
They will say: A finger (or something like that)
Then you will say:
"Yes, I'm good at hiding":D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 08 2003 11:49pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Yea i do

_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 08 2003 01:37pm

Axion
 - Student
 Axion

lol billy the bruins are better.. apolo you have my sn for aim? :P
_______________
Axion - Yeah.

Nov 08 2003 01:08pm

Flash
 - Student
 Flash

LOL Billy!

Nov 08 2003 03:49am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Life is like a monkey you never knw what its gunna throw at you next.:D
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 08 2003 01:04am

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Your Islander joke was funny there Axion.:D
-------

For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."


_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 08 2003 12:27am

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Well that beats my purpose if i give it to you so i will just switch from time to time.
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 07 2003 10:20pm

Kel Katarn
 - Ex-Student
 Kel Katarn


*Yoda sees his Padawans move much faster with the run test*
Yoda:"The force Kel, stronger has it become in this place, see how the padwans run much faster"
*Kel sniffs*
Kel"OMG Yoda you farth-head you eating that beans-swamp-soup again? the Padawans ran away!"
Yoda:*farths* mmmhh, Jodan Kel want some?
Kel"No thanx, i might start looking green like you".
Yoda:" stupid cross bred Jodan not respect he has for my soup!"

_______________
The dark side is for the weak, for they could not resist it. The Katarns rule!

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