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Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!!
Nov 12 2025 03:38pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
Battlin' Billy
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!

This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm.

Poll
Are these jokes funny?

vote results
Yes!  Keep 'em coming! Yes! Keep 'em coming! [195 votes] [63%]
No!  My dog tells better jokes! No! My dog tells better jokes! [19 votes] [6%]
Some yes, some no. Some yes, some no. [55 votes] [18%]
I have no sense of humor.  What's a joke? I have no sense of humor. What's a joke? [41 votes] [13%]

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Comments
Nov 24 2003 06:38pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Good one Bubu :D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 24 2003 06:01pm

Odan-Wei Belouve
 - Student
 Odan-Wei Belouve

LMAO @ Bubu !!!
_______________
Padawan and brother to SmilyKrazy :D - Adopted in the Belouve Family by Fizz and Bubu, BELOUVE ON! :D - Vladarion, you'll always be in my heart and memories - Spam-Padawan of Jacen Aratan ;) - [DJ is my beloved wife! :P - JA Family: Brothers:
Virtue, Furi0us, Vladarion, Hardwired, Janus, Axion, D@RtHM@UL, Motrec, Mike , xAnAtOs , Luke Skywalker; Little bro to SilkMonkey ; Special kind of brother to Kenyon ; Sisters in-law: Rosered, Ain-Soph Aur]
Photoshop works: click here


Nov 24 2003 06:01pm

Bubu
 - Hubbub
 Bubu

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.
_______________
make install -not war

Nov 23 2003 11:35pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

I dont get it....
chicken!
monkey!
Do you get that?

_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 23 2003 08:43pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

okay, and what's the funny part?:)
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 23 2003 08:41pm

Ulic |retired|
 - Student
 Ulic |retired|

For the Dutchies among us:

Ik zit me voor het vensterglas
onnoemelijk te vervelen
ik wou dat ik twee hondjes was
dan kon ik samen spelen

Translation: (not in rime)
I'm sitting here at the window and I'm terribly bored. I wish I was two little dogs, so I could play together.

_______________
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

This comment was edited by Ulic |retired| on Nov 24 2003 05:01pm.

Nov 23 2003 07:45pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Chickens!
Just think about it.....
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 23 2003 02:44pm

Thomasooo
 - Student
 Thomasooo

Once upon a time, a m00 ate Jacen. The m00 had to throw up because Jacen tasted like crap! :D
ROFL :P
_______________
In the navy and LOVING it! :D

Recipient of comment no. 1000 and heart-warming words from Ataris! :)


Nov 22 2003 03:39pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Life is like a box of choclots....it can taste good but melts to easily.
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 22 2003 02:15pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

okay...
Like ma momma alzays zaid
"Stupid is as stupid does :P"

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
My name is Forest, he'd casually remark
He waited for the bus with his hands in his pockets
He just kept saying life is like a box of chocolates!


_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 21 2003 11:16pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Life is like a box of chickens....you never know when they're gunna jump out and surprise you.:D
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 21 2003 08:24pm

Stimpski
 - Student
 Stimpski

College Roast

Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: Why did Clemson choose orange as a school color?
A: So that the football team could wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up garbage for the rest of the week.

Q: Why did O.J. Simpson go to Raliegh, NC in the Ford Bronco?
A: He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

Q: What are the longest three years of a Duke player's life?
A: His freshman year.

Q: Why did Georgia Tech replace the grass in its football stadium with astroturf?
A: They didn't want the cheerleaders to graze at halftime.

Q: Why do Wake Forest cheerleaders wear bibs?
A: To keep the tobacco juice off the uniforms.

Q: How many Duke freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because that's a sophomore course at Florida State and Virginia.
_______________
Stimpski (formerly known as DeathScythe many, many moons ago.)
JA Forum ID - 3988
<insert generic &/OR witty tagline here>


Nov 21 2003 06:39pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Okay...:D
I'll remember those

how about this:

I'm an ugly kid,...I still play hide and seek with my parents... I once found them.... under a fake name in Canada

:D
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 21 2003 06:04pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

Anyone like Rodney Dangerfield?
-----

I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said .... "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work ..... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy .... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid........When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly...My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father..I'm very sorry.......We did everything we could......But he pulled through.

I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness.......AFTER I was born.

Once when I was lost.....I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him .... "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said. "I don't know kid ... there are so many places they can hide."

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?"
He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 20 2003 10:48pm

Apologetic
 - Student
 Apologetic

Hey I like my coffee white but the thing is that my coffe is sugar with coffee in it.
-----------------------
Make the coffee above, lick a car battery stick a frog on your head and the crack the battery open and eat whats inside.
------------------------
3 ways to exit a car

1.Pull the car to a stop aply the parking brake and get out.
2.Go down the free way with a friend and jump out
3.Take a friend tell him to buckle up then go ninty down the road drive off a cliff jump out and watch your friend take the ride of hid life.
_______________
Love GOD and jesus as they love u:)
[move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move]


Nov 20 2003 01:53am

Flamori Athena
 - Student
 Flamori Athena

it is 400 a night. what he's getting at is how many *clients* she handles in a year. :D
_______________
«±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±»
True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing.


Nov 20 2003 12:00am

SilkMonkey
 - Distributor of Cold Ones
 SilkMonkey

Imagine you're stuck in a cage with an angry and hungry and aggressive Lion, a pissed of Grizzly bear and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets...and dont want to shoot yourself. What do you do?

SHOOT THE LAWYER TWICE!!!

------

Here's one you can apply to any girl...I'm going to use Rosered since she's on here a lot. I apologize, but I need a girl's name to put in here.

What does Rosered use for birth control?

Her personality.
_______________
|-HK-47 -SilkMonkey: You are receiving a warning for being_too_sexy. If you do not stop, action will be taken against you.|| (11:13:43) � Virtue dances for Silk ||Smiling owner of Smilykrazy's 6000th comment =) ||Odan Wei's Proud Big Brother|| Janus is my official TaruTaru Cuddly Animal Type Person. ||(@Virtue) Or you could just be a man and set fire to your genitals.....you won't fall asleep for days after that.......trust me.||Thomas Skywalker er for sexy for sitt eget beste!!!!| Not changing sig until the JA loosens up. (Started: Aug 31, 2005)

Nov 19 2003 11:18pm

Padawan On A Stick
 - Student
 Padawan On A Stick

a year??? i thought it was 400 a night...
_______________
When you are told something for years, you learn to accept it. But, after the truth is revealed, you feel conufusion, isolation, and depression. Then you ask, where do I belong? I'm searching for that answer.

Nov 19 2003 07:28pm

Vasper Ba'xian
 - Student
 Vasper Ba'xian

Lady goes up to her husband and says"Im moving to Vegas!"
Husband: "why"
Wife: "I hear they pay girls $400 to do what I do to you for free."
Husband: *starts packing his bags*
Wife: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "I'm going with you: I wanna see how you live on $800 a year!"

:D:D:D:D:D
_______________
Brother to: Tamal, Kavar, J.D.,Jermia, Devlin, Ulic, Xiabara, Seij,Tarron Mib,>>>ROCK ON:).My Spacescapes art page.My Everything Else art page. MY FAV. Jedi Are: Qui-Gon Jinn, Corran Horn, and Anakin Solo. Unofficial Master to Tamal. and Kavar. Founder of the Wuji Hundun Jian saber style. Proud owner of Tamal's 200th comment!//Proud owner of Refl3x's 300th comment!>>>Proud owner of Tyrant's 800th comment>>>Proud owner of Lucky's 170th comment>>>Proud owner of BDKawika's 444th comment>>>To except Existance is to except Reality.

Nov 19 2003 07:11pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

You know, since some people don't know the entire story of the bible, I'll give the short version here :D
(Don't look away, it's fun :D)

In the beginning of times, there was only such a thing like a child farm.
And in that farm, there lived two people...
Mozes and Ali Babba
but they ate from the poisoned apple, and they fell in a deep, deep sleep
and rain came pouring down from the heavens
Then Jesus turned the water into Red Wine
and that became the Red Sea
and that divided into two parts
and the one half was drunken by Moby
and the other half by Johannes

But Johannes drank so much, that he was so drunk,
that he started splashing people with water,
and the people said: It's enough!
They cut off all his hair and made him a rooster haircut
and he had to cheer three times (like a rooster)
he still wouldn't stop, so that's why they nailed him to his cross

Luckily, there came three wives from the East
and they had spread breadcrumbs so they wouldn't lose the way
And then Jesus turned the breadcrumbs into fish, and said to them: "Rise and walk!"
and I saw that at the musical Jesus Christ Superman
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 19 2003 05:55pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

I don't remember if this was posted already or not, I don't feel like digging through all the old posts....
-----

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 17 2003 05:14pm

Bail Hope of Belouve
 - Student
 Bail Hope of Belouve

Didn't know him, but he sounds good
I'll search to see if I can find something off him :)
_______________
Visit the Belouve Family Website!
Quote:
I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion

Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here.


Nov 17 2003 04:54pm

Battlin' Billy
 - Student
 Battlin' Billy

LOL @ Ulic and Rosered!!! Hilarious!!!
-----

Anyone familiar with the comedian Steven Wright? I love his jokes, here are some of them:

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... And all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It wasn't doing what I was doing.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

The other day, I bought some used paint. It came in the shape of a house.

I was walking home from a party, and I got tired. So I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all around the world.

_______________
Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment |
Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss
JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend
Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE!


Nov 17 2003 01:51pm

Rosie
 - Student
 Rosie

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.



Nov 17 2003 01:46pm

Rosie
 - Student
 Rosie

Looooooool:D:D

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