| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
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Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
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Muad'dib - Student 
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Jokes eh? How about this one: George W. Bush  (Oh NO! Politics! Well, i hope no one's offended, if they are: sorry) _______________ "It's because I love you. No. It's because I love you" Oh, Anakin, you're eloquence is second to none. I AM THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES! |
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Arcuss - Student 
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A man took his wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow." |
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Sniya - Student 
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Malky lol if not over steriotyped.You know for the Garda(irish cops) theres some times a steriotype that theyre very friendly. it was around the time of the tour d france when it passed through ireland.There were signs on some of the roads to mark the routes.Well the tour de france finished but they had not taken down the signs yet,i think they were made of cardboard or some other real cheap material.Well anyway his dad decides he wants to get one as a souvenieer.They were pretty certain they would be told off or summit. So his dad takes out a penknife or something and starts cutting. No one comming he conttinues cutting someones comming he quickly tries to cut it the person is in sight-its a garda the garda aproaches "you need a hand there" _______________ The real question is not whether machines think but whether men do. Bertrand Russell http://www.thejediacademy.net/forums_detail_page.php?f_id=970 |
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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LOL!!!!! CNN Late Breaking News! It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by U.S. Special Forces. The main suspect of the attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground tunnel in a deserted mountainside of southern Afghanistan. Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across southern Afghanistan, and the little prick just popped up! _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Flamori Athena - Student 
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Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands IRELAND “Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?” FRANCE “Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?” ITALY “Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ” POLAND “Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?” GERMANY “Is this bratwurst kosher?” TURKEY “Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?” KOREA “Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?” CHINA “This wall isn’t so great.” ENGLAND “Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?” SWEDEN “Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?” YEMEN “Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?” INDIA “You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?” ETHIOPIA “After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!” CANADA “You’re like Americans without money.” SPAIN “So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?” SOUTH AFRICA “I liked it better the other way.” MEXICO “What's that smell?” SAUDI ARABIA “Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?” RUSSIA “Is it always this cold and economically devastated?” UZBEKISTAN “Can you spell Uzbekistan?” GREECE “I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy." AFGHANISTAN “Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?” JAPAN “What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?” AUSTRALIA “How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?” AMERICA “Was John Wayne gay?” _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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Malk - Student 
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Subject: Irish pilots Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow To Dublin one night, with Paddy the Pilot, and Seamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window. "B'jeesus," said Paddy, "will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is." "You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus. "Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see," said Paddy. "You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Seamus. "Right Seamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse," said Paddy. "Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus. "And den ye put de flaps down straight away," said Paddy. "Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus. "And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can," said Paddy. "Right, I'll be doing dat," replied Seamus. "And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul," said Paddy. "I'll be doing dat already," replied Seamus. So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Seamus and everyone on board. As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Seamus "Dat has gotta be de Shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in me whole life." Seamus looked out the side window and replied, “Yeah Paddy, But look how fookin wide it is." _______________ You swing too hard, ass. I Swear!!! |
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Bubu - Hubbub 
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HAHA aussie humor!  and good one billy hehe  here goes my aussie joke: An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?" New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?" Dog: "Doin' alright." New Zealander: (extreme look of shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?", pointing at New Zealander Dog: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." New Zealander: (look of disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." New Zealander: (extreme look of shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at New Zealander) Horse: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." New Zealander: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar. hehe the m00 shall rule!! _______________ make install -not war This comment was edited by Bubu on Jun 25 2003 01:06am. |
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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An Australian goes on a safari in Africa, taking his pet dingo along for company. One day, the dingo starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dingo thinks, "Geez, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dingo exclaims loudly, "Bugger me dead, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dingo nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree. He figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dingo sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving Aussie dingo." The dingo sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "Struth, what am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the dingo says, "Where the bloody hell is that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard." _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Battlin' Billy - Student 
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A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. On the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Flamori Athena - Student 
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lol _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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Funny stuff Phantom. Just a suggestion though, don't make the post so long, people don't like reading all of it at once. ----- The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,” The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.” Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.” _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Phantom - Student 
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http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/backstreet.htm (Not really a joke but still fun) __________________________________________________ 12 reasons why choclate is better than...sexual intercourse. 1. You can have chocolate in front of your parents. 2. Nobody starts rumors about who you shared chocolate with. 3. People of the same sex can share chocolate without being called names. 4. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. 5. Chocolate is satisfying even if it's gone soft. 6. No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal. 7. You can have chocolate with a whole group of friends without being obscene. 8. If you have to pay for your chocolate, it's not too expensive. 9. Chocolate is just as attractive when you're sober. 10. A big piece of chocolate lasts longer, but even a small piece is satisfying. 11. You can have chocolate in the office without upsetting your co-workers. 12. It's easy to GET chocolate any time you want!!! __________________________________________________ Blondes We've all heard "dumb blonde" jokes before, but let's not stereotype! Not all blondes are the same. Here are some examples of how blondes can react differently in different situations: THE DIET A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping." RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side." THE INTERVIEW An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one." SPACEY A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian bragged, "We were the first in space!" The American retorted, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you fool. You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" MAKE UP YOUR MIND! A police officer stops a blonde for speeding, and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. Huffily, she replied, "I wish you guys would make up your mind. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" NO BRAINER A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice, and landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" So let's stop stereotyping blondes! As you can see, all the blondes in these stories handled their situations differently. Not all blondes are alike! _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass". The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat." So the lawyer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house." The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along. When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you." The lawyer said, "You're going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall." _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This comment was edited by Battlin' Billy on Jun 22 2003 09:28pm. |
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Phantom - Student
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o0o now I get it LOL! _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Flamori Athena - Student
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lol _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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Chicka - Ex-Student 
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You don't get it? Well it's saying that rednecks are into incest, and if her own family wouldn't have sex with her, neither should he. |
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Phantom - Student 
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This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy replies, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!" __________________________________________________ Heres one I dont get? This redneck couple get married. They go back to the motel after the ceremony, and she changes into a sexy nightgown, lies on the bed, and says, "Be gentle with me; I'm a virgin." At this her new husband bursts into tears, pulls on his clothes, jumps into his pickup truck, and drives home. He tells his father what happened. "Son, you done right," says his pop. "If she weren't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours." __________________________________________________ It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come inwith us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." "That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile, "by the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon." _______________ -Phantom Ex-Master to Threat. Proud owner of Sazabi's 1500th comment! And Threats 50th comment "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" |
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Jake Kainite - Student 
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lmao, go go virtue, that rox lol _______________ Apprenctice of Jedi Master Ascari (deceased) Descended from a line of great Jedi Will argue any point of view from any side
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Virtue - Jedi Council 
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A pregnant lady goes into a Bank to pay some money into her accout. Unfortunatly for her, she chose a day when the bank was about to be robbed by armed criminals. The Pregnant woman was shot three times in the stomach that day, but miraculously survived. At the Hospital, she learned that she was to give Birth to Triplets, two Girls and a Boy and each of the three bullets had hit a triplet. Miraculously, all three children survived and the Lady gave Birth to the Triplets. Twelve years later, this very same lady is in the kitchen, doing the washing up, when the first of her children, a girl ran in screaming - "Mommy! Mommy! I was taking a dump and a BULLET came out!!!" The Mother then explains to her child what happened when she was pregnant. As she was doing this, the second girl came ran into the room screaming - "Mommy! Mommy! I was taking a dump and a BULLET came out!!!" The Mother then explains to her child what happened when she was pregnant. Then, the last of the Triplets, the Boy ran into the room Screaming - "Mommy! Mommy!............" "Let me Guess" Said the Mother, "You were taking a dump and a bullet came out with it?" "No NO!" Said the Boy, "I was having a wank - and I SHOT the Dog!!!" _______________ Academy Architect This comment was edited by Virtue on Jun 20 2003 08:39pm. |
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents." ----- A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?'' Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.'' And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.'' ----- This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it. “Hey, what's that?” “A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.” “Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room. “Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!” “Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?” _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Akseli - Ex-Student 
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LOL nice jokes!!!keep em coming !! _______________ JIIIIHA ..::[[{{((Brother Of {[(KILLBORN!!!]})))}}]]::.. IM THE MOST HATED PERSON IN THE ACADEMy!!!! AAAA!!!!!!!!!! |
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Acey Spadey - Student
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[ CAUTION SOME NOT NICE LANGUAGE IN NEXT JOKE] [ EXTRA NOTE, EDITTED A BIT.. :p ] Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a f***ing yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the f*** were you thinking, you fat son of a bi***, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole f***ing year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't f***ed me enough, you gave that little ****** across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll f*** you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the f***ing North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that f***ing bike. F*** YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BI***. Sincerely, Little Johnny _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Acey Spadey - Student 
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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old sonplaying with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the trainstop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who wantoff, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train,cause we're going down the tracks." The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen." _______________ .Lag Bro to Xanatos. Adopted Twin to Bubu. Big-Brother to SmilyKrazy ---- JATSRAD Guru, JASE Member, JA SP Mod Staff ---- The Order of the Stick -- Big thanks to Mango for my avatar -- Quote: Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Quote: (Random hella old quote) <Fizz of Belouve> .. in sovjet russia, cereals spit at YOU!
Quote: whats the point of growing up, if your not allowed to act childish!
Padawan - Henkes
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Battlin' Billy - Student
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A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' " "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
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Flamori Athena - Student
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There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish. The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish. It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay." _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
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