| Joke of the Every Couple of Days!!! | |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student  |
Permanent
I'll try to post one joke a day on here. Feel free to add a joke or 2 yourself._______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! This post was edited by doobie on Mar 02 2004 04:52pm. |
| Poll | ||||||||||||||
Are these jokes funny?
|
| < Recent Comments | Login and add your comment! | Previous Comments > |
| Comments |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student 
|
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom. ----- What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts. ----- Moms have Mother's Day, Fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday ----- What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her navel. ----- What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine. ----- What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck. ----- What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you're dead. ----- Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. ----- How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO"! ----- Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the Sex Ed class uses it. _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
|
Apologetic - Student 
|
How much ham equals a duck? 2 becaus icecream is boneless! _______________ Love GOD and jesus as they love u  [move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move] |
|
D@RtHM@UL - Student 
|
Got milk? |
|
Dicemaster - Student 
|
sorry appolo, wrong kind of bar...what i was saying is two drummers walked by a bar, as in didn't go inside to drink...duh -Dice _______________ Dicemaster |
|
Flamori Athena - Student 
|
hmm... lets see, I read this in a bookstore recently... a middle-aged couple, mr and mrs jones were having trouble with their sex life, so they went to see this therapist (or whatever). the therapist interviewed them for a few hours, then said, "on your way home, pick up a bag of donuts and some grapes. then when you reach home, sit naked on the floor, and mr jones, roll the grapes over to mrs jones, and mrs jones throw the donuts over to mr jones. if any of the stuff contacts the other person (how can I put it without going into graphic detail?), eat it without using your hands." one week later, the smiths came to see him. " we heard from our friends the joneses that you really helped them. can you help us too?" after interviewing them for several hours, the therapist/doctor/whatever says, "sorry but I can't help you" the smiths plead with him for a while, and finally he gives in. "allright," he says. "this is what you do. on the way hme, pick up a bag of oranges, and a packet of polos..." _______________ «±» 21st on the Midbie Council, Profile ID: 2027 «±» True wisdom is the knowledge that you know nothing. |
|
Apologetic - Student
|
He means that the drummers were ACTUALLY SMART enough to miss the bar not walk into it. _______________ Love GOD and jesus as they love u [move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move] |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student 
|
okay, I don't get it _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Dicemaster - Student
|
two drummers walk by a bar..... hey it could happen! _______________ Dicemaster |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
|
go wild!! you only live once Apu Nahasapeemapettillan: Hey, speak for yourself! -- Copyright: The Simpsons _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Achilles - Student 
|
lol  _______________ Padawan to the great Katan JA Brother to D@RTHM@ULR.I.P. Vladarion, may he find peace in the afterlife. |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
|
lol  that's original _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Bubu - Hubbub 
|
haha i figured it out as soon as she said "weighed". nevertheless, funny it was _______________ make install -not war |
|
Shannon -SC- - Student 
|
LOL! That was a good one. _______________ Falling from heaven is not as painfull, as surviving the impact. |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student 
|
My mom just e-mailed me this one, I just peed my pants! --- Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
|
ok and that's funny because...? _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Jawa Rikard Falk - Ex-Student 
|
i have no dog   muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa _______________ bye all i had a great time here i will never forget it i really gonna miss u all |
|
Apologetic - Student 
|
mmmk So a cannible is sittting downa and then his frend walks by.... theres suppose to be a funny thing about that i just cant find it _______________ Love GOD and jesus as they love u [move]We defend the peace and help the helpless we r the mandilorian jedi troops![/move] |
|
Achilles - Student
|
lol battlin' _______________ Padawan to the great Katan JA Brother to D@RTHM@ULR.I.P. Vladarion, may he find peace in the afterlife. |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
|
lol _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student
|
Thanx guys! It makes me happy that I gave you a little chuckle! ------ An old man living alone in the outskirts of Dublin, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't have anyone to dig his garden for his potatoes. So he wrote to his son about his predicament. The son sent the reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE, don't dig the garden up, that's where I buried the guns!!!!! At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers turned up and dug the garden for 3 hours, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what had happened, asking him what he should do now? The son sent the reply: "NOW plant the potatoes!" _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
|
Axion - Student 
|
lol aye it does _______________ Axion - Yeah. |
|
tarpman - The Tarped Avenger 
|
this thread rules _______________ Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time. |
|
Bail Hope of Belouve - Student
|
lol _______________ Visit the Belouve Family Website! Quote: I try to have fun with my friends and try to make a difference as best I can. What does making a difference mean? Well, it can be as simple as saying hello, answering a question that seems obvious or heck, just talking. -- Vladarion
Want to know Vladarion? Read the Article about his life here. |
|
Bubu - Hubbub
|
hahaha billy i love you _______________ make install -not war |
|
Battlin' Billy - Student
|
I know some of these were posted already, but not on this thread. I just love bad jokes!!! ----- How do crazy people go through the forest? --They take the psycho path. How do you get holy water? --You boil the hell out of it. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? --Dam! What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? --Polaroids What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? --A stick. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? --Nacho cheese. What do you call santa's helpers? --Subordinate clauses. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? --Quattro sinko. What do you get from a pampered cow? --Spoiled milk. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? --Frostbite. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? --A nervous wreck. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? --Anyone can roast beef Where do you find a dog with no legs? --Right where you left him. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? --Because they have big fingers. Why don't blind people like to sky dive? --Because it scares the dog. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? --Sanka What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? --The location of the dirt bag. Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down? --Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? --A bad golfer goes, whack, dang it!. A bad skydiver goes dang it!! Whack How do you catch a unique rabbit? --Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? --Tame way, unique up on it. What do you call skydiving lawyers? --Skeet. What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop? --An amish drive-by shooting How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same? --Somebody's gonna lose a trailer What is a dentist’s favorite time? --Tooth hurty _______________ Midbie Council Member #2 - Profile ID 2073 | Member of B@rtM@ulS@ar | Owner of Monty's 2000th comment & D@RtHM@UL's 8100th comment | Former Padawan of SilkMonkey & Arcuss JA Goaltender & NHL Fan | Fellow Rush fan to Axion|Plo Koon is my oldest JA friend Post your RL pics HERE! | Post you JK2/JK3 screenies HERE! |
| < Recent Comments | Login and add your comment! | Previous Comments > |