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Shadow Leader - ex-Student  |
post moved to a server. _______________ LJA This post was edited by Shadow Leader on Mar 28 2008 04:55pm. |
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Is this great story?
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Shadow Leader - Ex-Student 
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I will move my stories to a sever that can better handle the content, because the showcase forum is not cut out for this. Also these are space recon marines, I was just trying to that they have lives outside combat. Thank you for comment about the dialouge, I'll fix as soon as I can. _______________ LJA This comment was edited by Shadow Leader on Mar 28 2008 04:53pm. |
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R2D2 - Staff 
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Be more consistent with how you write dialogue (you left out quotes here and there, making it a little difficult to follow).
I think the whole football thing has been overdone with movies, so I don't find this particular story that great. In addition, most of those movies have no substance at all. Make something with a more original theme. _______________ "Do or do not, there is no try" Jedi Master Yoda Dual Saberist This comment was edited by R2D2 on Mar 28 2008 01:18pm. |
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Mister Clutch - Student 
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Please write more. |
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